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ADAM SANDLER'S POEMS

As a kind of mental exercise sometimes
I try to imagine the poems the famous will write.
(I used to imagine the new age career Axl Rose
Seemed destined for after G'n'R exploded, too.)

One condition of fame in our society
Is that you must be willing to embarrass yourself
As a matter of routine. A parallel condition
Of anonymity is that difference must be scorned.

I myself loved the Hanukkah song. Didn't get
The movies, but whatever. It's just funny
When famous people write poems. It's another
Story when writers of poems gain fame.

Here, then, is my attempt at imitating in advance
The poetry of Adam Sandler: Lookee
At the shiny monkey
Playing on the new cut lawn.

Oh I love the shiny monkey
As he sings his monkeysong.
Now he grabs his monkey willie
Oh now monkey don't be silly!

Now he sees me on the lawn
Coming towards me and turned on,
Oh I better stand not sit
What's he's throwing at me? Ohhh.

Expletive deletey
From the dirty nasty monkey
Playing on the fresh mown grass
I am still a very rich man. And married. To a beautiful woman.